Without going into to much detail...I have been gone. Dealing with lots of sin, lots of anger, lots of frustration, and usually all rolled up in the general loss of hope.
Things seem to fall apart easily in my "sometimes" life and it seems that recently my "sometimes" life has become a "more often not" kinda life.
My wife and I argue a lot, we both make really bad decisions with our finances and the decisions in our life. Mostly we feel like we have been abandoned by the Church. I fought through a great time of sin in my life almost 4 years ago. I fell into the arms of Jesus and tried to fall into the arms of my Church...but the Church was not there.
I try to paint a pretty picture on it, saying that I would have reacted to us the same way they have if I were in their shoes...but the truth is I would have not acted in that way. I would not have said that there were things that I would do for you, and ways that I would endeavor to be "for" you in your life if I had no intentions to do so. And that is exactly where we find ourselves with our "Church".
I have fought leaving, I have fought giving up, I have tried to be the agent for change even though I myself have bee struggling to recover from the effects of sin...but it's a lost cause.
My wife and I still feel a burden and a passion for what the Church ought to be. We feel like God wants us to step up and lead in that way...but no one else seems to see what is wrong with the Church in their midst.
We are destitute in many ways...left behind by people whose voices say words of wisdom and hope, but whose actions speak poverty, destruction, and hatred. We are tired, and I am tired of standing by and doing nothing.
Who wants to plant a Church?
A Jesus centered, enemy loving, restoring, hope filled Church full of completely broken people?
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